Ever cool off mode

In ever cool off mode. Just looking for a distraction. Looking for peace of mind. Looking for giving my brain a rest. When there is no action, no remaining effect, no stability in decisions, what is the point about writing about them so much. So much planning for what? If there no result comes out then why bother?

Just escaping the unpleasant reality, which is unstable work condition and the problems related to it. Financial pressure and feeling of worthlessness. Stagnation in the economic and professional sides of life though I’m keeping a pretty decent pace of reading and improving relations with the baby. However my belly is getting bigger and bigger for which on the personal side of things and life I should find a solution and keep working at it. 

When I’m down I’m much more prone to break my promises to myself. Much more prone to reject all the reasons based on which I have made a decision. Just escape brushing. Cancel running. When there is this feeling of “shame” of myself, I tend to disregard myself and when so, there is nothing I can’t do no matter how cheap.

The job part of things, is getting clearer little by little though with a sluggish speed. So I can start calling the dealers to announce the new shipment and re-launch of the business. However the accurate timing is not clear yet so maybe I’ll start that after the order was confirmed. I requested a job vacancy advertisement for sales dept. which was put off the “Doctor”. Perhaps wants to if he will end up as the mentor of the business and then use his beloved psychologist to recruit people. And Scan tries to bring sales under his direct control.

About Eleven Office – 21 Ord