پراکندگان آذر 91

You just want to escape, don’t you?

You are given a challenge and as soon as there is something that needs to be done more than what you do hands in the pocket you just shift to doing something else, another activity and sometimes writing.

It’s just you isn’t it?

If things would go smoothly, sales would be high and no management issues or whatever, you would just never feel useless or demotivated, sleepy or what or never thought you don’t like sales, or Sam or whatever.

20 Aban 91

4:30 PM office

This is exactly the same.

I’m experiencing my Konkoor days again. Exactly Same.

Sitting. Doing Nothing. Reluctant to do anything. Mostly criticizing myself in my mind. Exactly wanting to do anything except what I have to do.

21/9/91

Impulsive.

Your brain prefers immediate pleasures over longer term gratification.

Even thinking on the subject, same happens. I feel tired of thinking about it. I just want to escape to sleeping. To doing something giving quick pleasure. Like checking Facebook. Just read stuff.

Even many times it is this impulsiveness that makes the drive for doing good and useful things like going for a ride after hearing a piece of exciting music.

Sunday 26/Azar/ 91

5:50PM

Have faith in yourself.

Faith.

Faith that you can do it. Faith that no matter hard things might be, you will be able to handle it.

To believe in yourself.

Have faith. Be more forgiving to yourself. Be tough. But be more friendly to yourself.

How is it possible for expensive cars not to be a thorn in your eye?

How is it possible that I don’t see people as competitors, enemies, watchers, etc.?

How is it possible not to live for people? Not to do anything for their admiration or attention? How to enjoy life yourself?

I have a wonderful wife. Did you know that. She is so calm, peaceful and forgiving. Giving. Highly emotionally in control and intelligent. I’m so stuck with myself and my world that I barely am aware of the heaven I’m living in.

We are a family. A small family that is so so potential for being extremely happy and fulfilling.

Why am I so forgetful about it?

The feel, the picture of the coziness, the unitness, oneness the integration of a family together is a

16 Azar 91

3:55 PM

Everything I do Just what remains is me eating myself again and again.

It’s 3 days that I have not been out running. Partly due to dangerous air pollution and partly a hidden pleasure in skipping it. Everything seems about delayed gratification. You try to overcome your laziness, your tendency to stay in the warm and coziness of the home

16 Azar 91

12:24 PM