Think deeply about it

Think deeply about it.                                  

Will you want to continue your current lifestyle? An employee? Or will you be able to found something of your own and contribute to the world? Change the world.

When I walk in the streets, every single expensive car is a thorn in me. That I have not achieved. And I’m left behind in the competition. I don’t have the money.

One voice says try it. Just try. So that you have tried and you won’t regret losing the opportunity.

Think clear. Think Clarity.

How will the scenarios be:

1-      I’m going to be self-employed. Trying to understand the market all by myself. Figure out the way to do things.

a.       I’m not sure if I can make it and live that life.

b.      I don’t know what is the subject that I can excel in.

c.       I should be looking at least at a 5 year investment.

d.      Whether you succeed or not depends and is not clear.

e.      I don’t know if there will be enough money.

f.        It is difficult to lose the prestige of working in a good company (at least I’m making better money otherwise)

[MONEY] in a past writing I noticed what will money be for? To bring happiness? But I’m spending precious time and life in which I’m supposed to be happy in.

Then I dug deeper to see what is that happiness that it brings me? And the thoughts included approval of others, their confirmation and showing off the money (now also as an evidence of my competence). Based on the above it occurred to me so this is living for the sake of others. Others’ approval, confirmation or whatever. How would I like that kind of life? On the other hand the other voice says: I just can’t be poor! I just can’t be pitied upon! Just can’t afford not affording things!

Then again, I say: that’s because you are used to this kind of life. You are sure to get something to eat. You’ll survive, that’s why you are content with it and out of fear of losing it, leave any better thing that might come to happen.

2-      The second scenario will be to be an employee.

a.       I’ll always have to manage people.

b.      Work with bosses that hinder more than drive.

c.       The field that I’m working requires great people skills which I don’t have and seems to be very difficult to get.

d.      There is always limitation in income.

e.      I’m bored to death at work sometimes. I skip work (Like right now sitting in the library at my working hours)

f.        I’m not passionate about work. Those I should be competing work day in day out to achieve but I just manage the bottom lines.

g.       I’m not motivated to achieve higher levels.

I’m usually tangled in the strings of my own thought. That becomes the diversion from the main and real activity. I have procrastination habits, self-doubt and self-deceit, self-punishment, negativity and pessimism. Too much used to habitual living. Have difficulty adjusting to change. Too ambitious. I would definitely want t drive a Porsche someday. To feel valued, accomplished, successful, worthy.

I can’t distinguish to achieve that whether I have to be self-employed or employee. I know owners of both factions.

8 Azar 91

1:17 PM AA Library